This past three weeks has been really tough. Today, I actually cried in my office for the first time in two years. Well, luckily it was not in front of colleagues, and it was just in an office of my close colleague, so I did not make fool of myself. It was over a stupid thing, but I felt so low, unappreciated and almost to the extent to be humiliated when I work soo hard. I probably over-reacted to it, and it was somewhat rectified, thanks to a sympathetically angry co-worker of mine who is ready to stick up for me. Stress has been accumulating recently and I just broke down momentarily.
I still don't know about the contract, did not get the fabulous NY job (I was the second candidate for it but didn't make it at the end!!). To make the matter worse, my boy friend broke up with me for some strange reasons. Oh I am so tired of guys with "issues" but this is a topic of another discussion ;) I have officially hit rock bottom. It is right when people say when it rains it pours. I felt absolutely lost and disoriented about my life and future.
So, all I need to do now is change my perspective. All I need to do is just to go up since I have already touched down the bottom. All I need to do is to focus on positive things. All I need to do is to see this as an opportunity. Options are wide open. I could go to Paris for a while and enroll in a language class and eat as many croissants and crepes as I can. I could take offers from my friends to go traveling in India. I could go back to Japan and hide in Kotatsu and go crazy shopping with all my saving. Or, I could stay here for the time-being and see two consultancy positions work out for me while I take meditation classes. Some of my colleagues are really trying to make these jobs happen for me, and I am so appreciative of them. And these are in fact all time-fillers until I find "the most fabulous job". In summary, it doesn't sound so bad, does it??
