Looking back 2015

This has been indeed a year of changes. Two major life events: becoming a parent and getting married happened almost at a same time. Working in BKK till March, giving birth then moving back to YGN. Started a part time job in July and went back to Kyoto to get married in September. After we came back, M.FR got extremely busy with his work. When that ended, the year also almost is ending! As if that is not enough, I started another short-term consultancy, which makes 3 jobs this year. I don’t know how we managed to pack so many things in 12 months! 

Trips to BKK, three domestic travels, Japan and now we are planning a holiday in a neighbouring country. 

I feel blessed with having TR and M.FR, and I am ready to take on life challenges and new adventures in 2016. We don’t know what life may hold in store next year.  We will be moving or going somewhere after March, as it looks like our chapter in this country is coming to close.  

もう１２月。今年は色々なことがありすぎて、本当にめまぐるしかった。何と言っても、人生のビッグイベント、出産と結婚がほとんど一度にやってきたのだから。

３月まで、BKKで単身赴任で仕事、そして出産。それから２ヶ月後の５月末に、赴任国に舞い戻り、７月の終わりからパートタイムの仕事を再開。去年の総括のエントリーを読んだら、今年は私もFR氏も職なしになるって書いてあったけど、結局のところはかなり働いた。９月に日本に２週間帰り、結婚式をして、それからはFR氏の選挙の仕事が超多忙になり、それが終ったら、もう今年もほぼ終わりになってしまった。年末まで新しい短期の仕事も引き受けたので、また忙しい。

BKKへは度々。国内旅行は３回。日本へ１回。年末に近隣の国への旅行。

FR氏とTR君との３人家族になった私。未だに自分が母親になったのは信じられないし（夜TR君が寝てしまうと、静かですべて夢だったんじゃないかと思う事がある）FR氏にmy wifeと紹介されるのが、かなり違和感がある。TR君を囲んで、二人のダイナミックは変わったような前と同じような。二人ともTR君のお世話で忙しいので、喧嘩する暇もほとんどないし、怒っていても、TR君がニコッとしてくれると、怒っていたことも忘れてしまう。

親になることで、自分の“のびしろ“が伸びるかと思ったけど、アイデンティティが一つ増えても、私は私。劇的な自己成長を期待していたけど、相変わらず。親として、ちょっとずつ変わっていくものなのかなあ。仕事と子どもの両立っていうママ業のジレンマは多少、味わえたし、これでジェンダーの仕事に少しは深みがついたのだろうか。

まだ私達は、来年もほぼ３から５ヶ月単位でしか先の見通しが立たない生活なのだけど、４、５、年のうちにはもう少し落ち着けるような人生設計をしないといけないなあと思う。

今年は出産後、仕事以外は、あまり人付き合いも多くなかったし、来年はもう少し外向きに活動したいと思う。もちろん育児にも全力で向き合う。ごく最近からFR氏とヨガにも通い始めた。できる範囲で子育てだけでなく、違うことにもチャレンジしたい。

今週のはじめて

TR turned 8 months old this week. He is becoming ever active, curious and wants to grab everything.

Now he crawls everywhere in the house, holds onto things and gets up on his feet, climbs up on cushions etc. Hardly sits still. Even changing diapers and dressing him is a challenge.

He eats everything too. Now he moved on to chicken, egg, yogurt and all kinds of vegetables and fruits. We decided to go Japanese way by not giving him any sweets till he turns 2 years old. We can see the power of sugar already. The other day, we gave him pure mushed banana. It's normally mixed with other things. This was by far the sweetest thing he has ever eaten in his eight months life. He was so upset after it was finished and we kept giving him rice. He didn't want anything else! No more pure banana mush for him!

We have not bought any toys for him but we have quite a few things received as gifts. However, his favourite ones are a sponge (we use it for his bath) and a little container for toothpicks. He crawls holding his toys around the rooms, which is so cute.

He also really likes my slippers probably because he is not allowed to play with them. From time to time I just let him as long as he doesn't put them in his mouth (his primary method of playing...) Today he was playing with them and put them in the mouth. I told him "no" and then he stopped. This happened repeatedly. Is it possible that he understands??!         

1st time in the ocean

はじめてのうみ

選挙もやっと終わり、仕事が一段落したFR氏。事務所も今月末で縮小されて、外国人スタッフさんも少しずつ帰国していく。皆が帰る前に、これまでの仕事の総括も兼ねて、彼が慰安旅行を計画して、私とTR君も便乗してきました。２泊３日で、ここから車で５時間ちょっとの海辺のリゾート。

TR君には初めての海。日が陰る夕方まで待って、ビーチへ。

砂浜に座らせると、濡れた砂の感触が珍しいのか、不思議そうな顔で触っていました。FR氏が、波打ち際に立たせると、びっくりしたのか泣き出した。落ち着いた後、私がだっこして、足を水に入れると、波が来るとちょっと怖そうだったけど、ひいては寄せる波をじっと見ていました。

翌日は、だっこで波打ち際に座る所まで、慣れさせた。

ビーチに座らせていたら、私がよそ見している間に、やっぱり砂を口に入れていた。吐き出さずもせずに、モグモグしてた。塩の味がしたのかな。

朝は早起きでビーチを散歩したり、小さい花火が上がっているのを見たり。

こうやって、息子の色んな”初めて”を一緒に経験できるのが、何より嬉しくて幸せ。ちょうど８ヶ月になって、ますます活発で好奇心旺盛になってきた。

ちょっと前まで一時期、人見知りだったような気もするけど（知らない男性にだっこされると泣いていた）、今回は彼のスタッフさん達に、代わる代わるご機嫌にだっこされてました。おかげさまで、ゆっくりご飯が食べられた。

私は２年振りの海！この国に移動する前に、アメリカの西海岸をFR氏と旅して以来でした。

水も暖かく、すごく綺麗な砂浜でした。もうちょっと泳ぎたかったけど、小さい赤ちゃんがいるとなかなかリゾートに来ていても、時間がないものですね。

10 years

I was too busy in September, but this blog has been in existence for 10 years in September! I started it when I went to work in Guyana in 2005. That was the beginning of my international development career, which led to where I am now.

A lot can happen in 10 years obviously. Many countries for work and travel, making friends, relationships, tears, laughters, etc etc.

細々と書き続けているこのブログ、９月で１０年になりました！たいした内容じゃないけど、自分の日記代わり、読んでくれている人も多少はいるみたいなので。

１０年の間に色々なことがあったな。ガイアナに赴任してからずっと書いている。それ以来、６カ国の途上国への赴任、オタワとニューヨークでの仕事。たくさんの出会いと別れがあった。これから先、どれくらい続けられるかな。

    

小旅行

While my newly wed husband is extremely busy working, TR, my mother and I went to the country’s most famous archeological site. This was my second visit, so I mostly took it easy with TR.

http://southandnorthequator.blogspot.fr/2014/02/ancient-city.html

This time I could not get on an electronic bike for the obvious reason, so we rented a car from the hotel to take us around. It is right after the monsoon, and the landscape was green and lush. Very different from my previous visit, which was at the end of the dry season.

7 months old baby visiting old ruins and temples... I am not sure if it was at all enjoyable for TR, but I believe exposing him to different things is positive for his development.

It was so nice to have my mother for over two weeks. She came to help us out for the pre-election busy time. I hardly saw M.FR, so it was very helpful to have her around. TR got spoiled by her, so I have to try hard to keep it up..

この地方で有名な漆器の工場を、見せてもらった（もちろん買い物も）のも良かった。２度目は前とは違う楽しみ方ができました。最近できたばかりの、リゾートも綺麗で、従業員さんたちもとても親切。食事する暇もないほど忙しく働いているFR氏には悪いけど、２泊３日のーんびりさせて頂きました。最近疲れが溜まっていたので、リフレッシュできました。

しあわせ

離乳食を始めるにあたって、両親が買ってくれたTR君専用のみどりいろのお椀。これで毎日、もりもり食べています。

Wedding week

結婚式の後は、着替えて京都は円山公園内の東観荘という料亭での食事会。披露宴というほどの大げさな物でもなく、みんなで楽しく京懐石を食べつつ話すのが目的でした。値段もリーズナブルだし、雰囲気も良くて、もちろん食事も美味しかった。外国人のお客様には物足りないかと、思ったけど、みんな喜んでたので良かった。

引き出物は、両親が買ってくれた塗りのお重と、私達の用意した抹茶クッキーと私の大好きな手ぬぐい！

遠方からのお客様ばかりなので、もう少しみんなと話したいと思い、翌日は京都御所でピクニックを催した。100均でレジャーシート（６枚!）や紙コップなどを買い、大丸で巻き鮨、お稲荷さん、唐揚げ、月見団子、フルーツなどなど買い込み、私の母校の隣の懐かしの御所へ。数人しかこないかと思っていたけど、他にも観光できる場所が山ほどある京都なのに、ほぼ全員参加してくれて、かなりの人数でした。芝生に座ってリラックスしてお弁当を食べるのは本当に楽しい。私はホスト側なので、食事が足りるかとか心配しつつも、楽しみました。御所の参観に行った人達もいるし、お天気に恵まれて、ピクニック日和でした。

その日の夜は、TR君が寝てから、FR氏の妹さん夫婦にお願いして、京都の夜の街に繰り出した。FR氏は音楽好きで、特に変わった前衛的なものももちろん好き。どこから調べてきたのか、木屋町のライブハウスに私以外、皆外国人のグループ総勢１０人で、行く事になった。音楽かと思いきや、楽器で効果音を付ける怪談だった．．．．．。怖い話は私しか分からず、みんな訳分かってなかったのに、なぜかみんな帰ろうともせず、まあまあ楽しんでいたのだから可笑しい。その後、近くの小さいお好み焼き屋さんに入った。貸し切り状態で１２時頃まで焼きそばやや葱焼きを食べつつ、盛り上がった。こんなに遅くまで外出するのは出産後はじめて。急いで帰ったけど、TR君はちゃんとまだ寝ていたので、ホッとした。

翌日はグループで温泉。

結婚式以外にも、たくさんの良い思い出ができた数日でした。私達が帰国して準備できなかったので、両親が奔走して、式や食事会の手続きをしてくれて、本当に有り難かった。感謝です。

Gender, Titanic and Fried Banana

I am still supporting the same initiative of gender training as a consultant which I started back in July.

I have trained close to 30 people to become gender trainers. I facilitated six days in total of a workshop on gender, gender mainstreaming and gender based violence so far.

This week it was their turn to practice new skills, and selected people were sent to facilitate gender sessions for senior level government officials for two days. I also went along to provide support. We all got up at 5 and left home by 6:30 to commute to the training venue.

I have to say this was the most defensive and hostile audience. Usually, my target groups are women or people who are interested or already working in women's issues. In this country according to them (mostly men) gender is a "non-issue" or even brings conflict to their family and challenges cultural, religious and traditional values.

Just by pointing some examples of gender issues, it was taken almost as an attack to them. They didn't like that we the facilitators were mostly women, younger, more junior and from NGO and UN backgrounds. We were very diplomatic, but even our well-thought through approach was not enough.

The interpreter who was helping me (since I was the only foreigner there) came up to me and said "the participants has a question to you. Do you know the story of Titanic? They want to know if you know that Japanese man disguised as a woman to try to save himself and get in a boat?"

I thought it was such a strange question and realized it was a personal attack to me. They didn't like Japanese (foreigner) and young looking woman was there to tell them that they have problems.

I didn't know about this man, so I googled and it turned out that he was falsely accused of this. His name was cleared only after he died.

At the training centre, we were treated like VIP. There was a separate hall for us for dining, and someone would wait in front of the bathroom holding a wet towel! Great breakfast and lunch, and they always had snacks for us. Their fried banana was so tasty.

Overall, it was interesting experience, and I am happy to get to experience this whole thing. Leaving TR all day was tough, since M.FR has been away on a field mission. By putting two nannies on shifts, we managed.          

はじめて物語

While we were busy getting married, our TR turned six months. He had so much attention from my family and M.FR's and all of our friends. There were queues to wait for their turns to hold him, and apparently his fan club was formed :)

He has started crawling, not perfectly but he can move around fairly quickly. He can change directions freely.

He has started eating solid food! We delayed this a bit till we were back from Japan. It's been over one week, and he has tried so far: rice, pumpkin, sweet potato, tomato and cauliflower. He eats everything we give him. In the past few days, I used kelp (konbu) dashi to give "umami" to him pumpkin rice porridge, and he seems to like it a lot. I love seeing his reaction when he eats something for the first time. When he ate tomato, he made sour face, but he continued eating it anyway!

He started playing "drop and pick up" game. I have noticed a couple of times that he drops his toy. I pick it up and give it to him and he immediately drops it (intentionally I think.)

He cries when I leave the room.

He reaches out to me to be held. When he is being held by others, I extend my hands to him and he wants to come back to me. That is extremely cute.

He stood up yesterday (Oct 15) by holding on to my legs.

He figured out that he can drink milk more easily when he tilts the bottle higher.  I am now giving him formula milk once a day.

He has become lot more aware and interactive. He laughs and smiles when we read him books. He is becoming more and more a person. I am getting worried though. He hardly sits (or lays) still. He is now crawling towards me climbing up to my stomach and legs. I am not sure how much I can keep up with his energy. This is going to get lot worse. I know that much...

He was still in my body six months ago. I am just amazed how quickly he is growing up. I am a bit worried that he is not gaining weight as much as I think he should, but he seems to be ok with other developmental milestones. He brings so much joy to us every day.

昨日初めてつかまり立ちのようなもの？をしたTR君。毎日の成長が目覚ましい。すぐに赤ちゃんじゃなくなるんだろうなと思うと、寂しい気もする。

最近は夜に何回か起きるようになって、お昼寝も短くなってしまった。これも成長の過程なのか？夜泣きと言う程もなく直に授乳すると寝てしまう。

起きている間は、ほとんどじっとしていなくて、色々なおもちゃで遊んだり、ここ２、３日は私の体によじ上ろうとしてくるので、遊んでいると私の服が全身よだれだらけになっちゃうので困る。

生まれた時に熱があったTR君。１週間も新生児集中治療室に、念のため入っていた。心配で心配で、今思い出しても泣きそうになるくらい。ここまで病気もせずに元気に育ってくれて嬉しい。日本であんなに忙しかったのに、風邪も引かずに帰国できた。毎日、たくさんの幸せをありがとう。      

Ceremony

式はもっとジーンとするものかと思ったけど、二人ともとちらずに終える事に集中。

日本語の誓いの言葉はFR氏は直前まで練習していた。

式の間は、私が横から指図を出していたので、彼に色々言うなと怒られてしまった（！）誰も気が付いてないと思うけど。

着物も暑くて、緊張していたけど、彼のおばさんの乾杯前の短いスピーチで、特に彼の亡くなったお母さんに言及したときは、思わず涙が出てきた。でもその顔を見たFR氏が吹き出したので、涙も直にひっこんでしまった。

実は、式の日取りは彼の亡くなったお母さんのお誕生日に近くなるように選んだのです。彼が成人する前に亡くなってしまったお母さん。会ってみたかった。結婚した今となっては、私の義理のお母さんでもあるし、TR君のおばあちゃんでもある。FR氏を（欠点は色々あるけど！）立派に育ててくれて、ご縁があって彼と結婚することになって、本当に感謝です。

式が無事に終って、ホッとした。感慨と言うより、やり終えた達成感の方が強かった気がする。

家族や、世界中からきてくれた友達にお祝いしてもらって、本当に幸せでした。みなさんどうもありがとうございました。

We were so focused on the ceremony without totally screwing it up. M.FR was practicing the vow in Japanese until the last second. I was nervous and the kimono was so heavy as if I was wearing a persian carpet. I hardly had any time to feel emotional until M.FR's aunt gave a short speech and mentioned his late mother. My eyes were getting all teary and M.FR turned to me and laughed. So that was the end of my bridal tear.. We actually choose the date to be close to his mother's birthday. She passed away when he was about 17. Now that we are married, she is my mother in law and the grandmother of TR. I wish I had a chance to meet her. Based on storied that M.FR told me, she was a wonderful person. She has to be very special to raise M.FR this way (unique and strange but so kind and smart), and I am thankful for her.

We felt relieved after the ceremony that it was completed without any hiccups. I felt so happy having families and friends who were there to celebrate our union.    

仏前式

In this occasion,

at the start of our journey into a new life,

we remember the debt we owe to those who have raised us,

and guided by the Buddha’s teachings,

vow to join our power together

and support one another to create a peaceful home.

Special bottle for a special occasion

２年前に、カリフォルニアのナパで訪れたワイナリーで買ったワイン。FR氏の気に入りの２００５年のもの。私達にしてはかなり上等のワインで、今までニューヨークの彼の義理の弟さんのお父さんのワイナリーに、大事に保管してもらっていた。特別な時にあけたいねと言っていて、今回、それを日本までロサンジェルス経由で他の５本のワインと共に持ってきてもらったのです。

これをお友達と家族が帰った後の、温泉２泊目のディナー（野菜懐石！）であけました。みんなで飲むつもりだったけど、前の晩はFR氏が二日酔いだったため、あけられなかったのです。

これを買った時は、まさか二人の結婚のお祝いであけることができるとか、側に小さい息子がいる（畳に転がっている）ことなんて想像もできなかったので、本当に幸せな気持ちで乾杯した。

半分は残して、翌日実家に持って帰り、父と母と残りを1杯づつ飲みました。コルクだけは記念に持って帰ってきた。あと違う銘柄のボトルが５本残っています。

The day before the big day

大事な一日の記憶が薄れる前に。

We booked a machiya house for M.FR's family and us during their stay in Kyoto. We stayed one night and realized that we were not going to get much sleep in this arrangement, as his sister has three small children who were jet lagged. M.FR and I decided to just to stay one night in a hotel to get a good night sleep before the wedding. It is at the hight of the high season in Kyoto where apparently hotels are booked at 90% all year around, so M.FR booked whatever he could find in a same neighbourhood.

So my day before the wedding was like this- first went home by subway from the rented house to get what I did not pack and brought gifts for our wedding guests and drop them at the restaurant. Then, my parents and I went to pick up M.FR's family and had the first family meet up and lunch in Japanese-French restaurant. Then, M. FR barely finished his dessert to take some of his family and friends to a temple tour. TR started getting hungry. I was wearing a nice white dress for the occasion, which was not breastfeeding friendly, so for the first time I went to sit in a toilet to feed him...  In the meantime, I accompanied his sister and niece to a kimono rental place for the wedding. We managed to find a kimono for the niece and his sister, and went to shop for a special kimono socks (called Tabi) for them. We brought them home in late afternoon, and M.FR was also on his way back from the temple (and took a wrong train!) After that we went to buy something to eat for his father and aunt for dinner in the neighbourhood. We packed again and took a cab to the booked hotel. It turned out to be a de lux version of a backpackers hotel. It was hardly a pre-wedding night type hotel, and we were laughing how funny and it's so us. We didn't care, and we just wanted to have a quiet room to sleep. We hastily bathed TR and put him to sleep in a decent time. While M.FR watched the baby, I went to a store to buy shaving cream for him and dinner for us. I called my mother while I was waiting for Chinese take out to make sure we were well coordinated for the day after.  I called and booked three separate taxi travels for us, his sister& niece (to the kimono place), and the rest of the family. We could not even finish a can of beer with our Chinese food while reviewing the program at the ceremony and practicing our vow. We prepared our bag in our tiny tiny hotel room trying not to wake up the baby. M.FR shaved and I wore a facial mask. I was also googling the protocol for giving a money envelope to the hair dressers (this is in addition to their charge) and counting bills and stuffing envelopes for all the payments to be made for the following day.  We still managed to go to bed at 11. I knew I still didn't translate the lunch menu for the reception (I did it at 6 next morning..)              

My head is spinning just to remember and write about this!!

Two weeks in Japan

大忙しの２週間でした。

日本に到着した翌日に、式で着る色打ち掛けを決め、お寺に挨拶と打ち合わせ。レセプションの料亭での打ち合わせ、息子のチャイルドシートを取に行ったり、お墓参り、FR氏のネクタイやお客様への贈り物を選んだり。その間にも、友達と会ったり、FR氏は仕事まで。

彼の家族が来た日に、私の実家から借りておいた町家に引っ越すも、結局2晩は、うちの家族３人は近所のホテル住まい。２週間の間に、フライト以外に５回も点々として、TR君も大変だったと思う。でも、幸い今のところ体調も壊さず元気そうです。温泉にも２泊して、最後に実家に泊まれたのは2晩だけ。

また結婚式のことは後日書きたいと思います。

Got Married!

M.FR and I have tied the knot on September 27th in Kyoto while our families and friends were present with us. It was most memorable and special day of my life. I am extremely grateful to have M.FR and our son and everybody else in my life.     

Count down to the Big Day

We are leaving for Japan in nine days..... and getting married in 18 days!

I technically have about 10 days of work till we leave, since I also took on another short consultancy. Yes, I don't know why I am doing this to myself. I cannot easily forgo a job opportunity, since I am forever traumatized by the long and painful job hunting period after finishing the graduate school.

In short, it is extremely hectic. I am juggling two jobs, a baby and coordinating with two nannies at a moment. M.FR is extremely busy. His staff just tripled in numbers in the last few weeks, and considering his job, it's a crazy timing to be away for two weeks...

It will be also really busy once we are back in Japan. I still do not know what I am wearing! We have one week before all the guests arrive to tie up the loose ends and get ready.

It's the first time
- my family and M.FR family meet. I am meeting his aunt for the first time too. I am also meeting my sister's husband for the first time.
- Both sides of the family (except my mother) to meet TR.
- Many friends are coming to Japan for the first time.
- First time when both me and M.FR are seriously engaged in something that is called "ceremony." M.FR skipped all his graduation ceremonies. I also didn't attend my graduate school graduation and even "seijin shiki" (coming of age ceremony- big deal) in Japan.

We are extremely excited that we get to introduce TR to our family and friends. TR gets to experience Japan. And not to forget that we are getting married, which seemed like a lost cause at some point of my life.  However, it's easy to imagine the level of anxiety and discomfort.

This will be a hardly a holiday, but it will be nice to be away and in Japan, as we have not gone anywhere these days!!   

Birthday

I can hardly believe that I am now 39.

On my birthday, I was facilitating a workshop all day. The day started with a big smile from TR after he slept almost nine hours straight! M.FR was away the previous night on a business trip, so I waited till the nanny came over in the morning. Then, I rushed to the workshop. The nanny brought TR to the hotel where we had the training during my lunch break. The organization let me use one of the hotel rooms for breastfeeding. I spent about 30 mins with him and stuffed my face in 10 mins while the baby sat on my laps and rushed back to the workshop. M.FR flew back from his trip and came home early to take care of TR. I got home around 5:30. I fed him, and we put him to sleep. Then, our friends came over to baby sit while there was a power-cut.  M.FR took me out for a birthday dinner. Lots of coordinating effort.

We went to a new chic restaurant where I had all these treats ending in caramel mousse!!

It was actually the first time ever since TR was born for us to go out together without him. I enjoy going for nice lunch on weekends as a family, but I think I can use occasional date nights like this. 

I am so grateful to have a supportive environment for all of this to be possible.
 

雨の日のお散歩

雨期でも小振りの時は、傘と長靴で近所をお散歩。

外出がない日でも、１日１回は外に出るようにしてる。ちょっと愚図ってても、庭に出るだけでも機嫌が良くなるのは不思議。

赤い傘も大好きで、外は色んな匂いと音、それから面白い物がたくさん。しじゅうキョロキョロしてる。

歌ったり、外のものを解説しながらのそぞろ歩き。

夕方、あやすネタ切れの時とか、停電の時には散歩。

働くママの生活

My work is getting a bit busier now. This week I was away from TR the longest time since he was born. I left home at 9 and did not get back until 5, which felt like a big deal. I literally ran home (when I was not in a taxi.) This means I missed two meal times. When I know that I will miss two feedings, I express breast-milk for the next day, so that TR will not get formula milk more than once a day. He has eaten formula only handful times so far, so I want to take it slow.

Our nanny can come only three times a week. Myself and M. FR try to coordinate schedules, so that we can cover the time when the nanny is not there. For example, I left TR for a few hours in M.FR's office (the photo) this week when I went to have a meeting. Luckily, his colleagues love having him (sometimes beg us to bring him over) there. We hardly see TR when we are in the office, since his colleagues take him away and pass him around. It's so cute to see M.FR work while TR is sitting on his lap.

When I rush home after work and see the baby smile to me, I feel having a job is already worth so much. I miss him when I am away, but it makes me appreciate the time I have with him. The life of working mother also forces me to be more organized and plan well. I need to do a simulation in my head a few times the day before if we have outings and errands. I am also trying to get my work ahead of time for any unexpected time needed with the baby later.

I am not ready to go back to work full time just yet, but this is good transition.

FR氏の事務所の床でまったりしているキューピーさん。FR氏のドライバーさんだけは声が大きいので、直に泣いちゃうけど、他のスタッフさんには大人しくだっこされてます。

会議等で家を空けていて、急いで帰ってただいまーと言うと息子がニコッと笑ってくれると、疲れも吹き飛ぶし、仕事を再開して良かったなと思う。これから、大変なことも色々出てくるだろうけど頑張ろう。

今週の初めて２

Every week little TR showed us new tricks. This week's new development:

• He protested when I took a toy away from him. Nice to know that he is developing different kinds of emotion. 
• Much better hand coordination. He likes to grab things now. He even held up a book (a very thin one) for a long time and brought it to his mouth. He can also manipulate toys a bit better to make sure he chews every corner of a same toy. 
• He has been enjoying splashing water in his tiny bathtub (still filled with drinking water...) with his feet. He started bashing water with his arms. 
• He appreciates texture and temperature now. I found him stroking things like a straw mat, desk, textiles and cold glass. 

Vaccination day

ちくっ、と４ヶ月健診で３本の注射を打ったキューピーさん。

ちょっと泣いたけど、すぐに泣きやんで偉い。

前の日から、チクッとするけど、病気にならないようにする為だからねーと言ってある。

太ももの絆創膏が痛い他しいけど、可愛い。

熱が出たら、イチゴ味のお薬を飲ませてもらえる。しんどい日は、一日中でもだっこしますよ。

Sleep Training

I was really dreading this. According to different theories, sleep conditioning is very important. If you get your baby to be used to always being rocked to bed or fed to sleep, he or she will always need that to fall asleep. Till recently our TR would not fall sleep unless being rocked to sleep and gently and carefully put down on the bed. It took particularly longer at night and he would wake up at least twice within 30 minutes and scream.

Our baby-rearing bible, a book called “Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers Wisdom of French Parenting” written by American mother living in France, four months is a critical deadline for sleep training. In addition, TR weighs more than 6 kg now, and I was coming to my limit of walking back and forth holding him, which could take more than 30 mins at a time. However, I kept giving excuses not to start the training. I would say,  not tonight, next week, after the 3 months vaccination is finished, after we come back from Bangkok etc. As a parent, it is extremely hard to hear your baby cry and scream.

Just less than a week before TR turned four months old, we finally started. It is some kind of our own modified version of “cry it out”. M. FR, equipped with earplugs, would stay with the baby until he falls sleep but no picking up and rocking. First night he cried for 30 mins. I couldn’t take it, and I had to wear a headphone and listen to music…  We actually couldn’t believe that he could fall sleep without being held. The second night, it was 40 mins, third 10 mins, then 20 mins…  It seemed like it’s working to certain extent. It was still hard to hear him scream. Then, one night I was alone at home and experimented by not swaddling him. I followed our usual bedtime routine and ritual: bathing, feeding, reading a storybook and signing. Then, I put him down on the bed. TR rolled onto his stomach and started sucking his fingers. I tuned off the light, told him good night and left the room………………………………..then he fell sleep!!! I heard no cry whatsoever!!!! I held my breath and went to check up on him multiple times. I am still nervous about him sleeping face down, as it is not recommended to prevent SIDS. I observe him during his sleep and he adjusts his head many times to find a comfortable position. We need to be careful to clear his bed of any possible items that could choke him. However, now I am more confident that he is big enough to control his posture.        

There we go. Just like that. It was resolved. No more rocking, no more counting up and down bounces and running to rescue him when he wakes up after 10 minutes. 

He has learned the skill to fall sleep on his own, which apparently is a real skill that babies need to learn.

Since then, it has worked so far with minimum crying.